Assessment

(The Lay of the Land)

 

An animist and ancestral cosmological map:

Cosmology: an account or theory of the origin of the universe

In an animist and ancestral framework, every aspect of existence is conscious, alive, and in relationship… so cosmology matters when we consider wellness.

The cosmologies of our longer-ago ancestors would’ve differed based on how their location and environment influenced their culture and way of viewing the world. Those unique perspectives matter.

That said, from a broad perspective, most of them shared some similar architecture:

 

They would’ve experienced multiple levels of existence happening simultaneously.

We can imagine a harmonious balance looking something like this:

The widest scope: the Unseen world - Spirit, Ancestors, the Otherworldly.

Then the wider Seen world - encompassing our relationships, communities, the land, beyond-human kin (plants, animals of all kinds, elements, stones, metals, minerals, spirits, seasons, etc).

Then individuals and the microcosm of the Seen (and Unseen) world they represent. “We are a drop in the Universe and the Universe in a drop.”

Like different radio channels happening at the same time, they could receive different information depending on which ‘channel(s)’ they were tuned into at any given moment.

And whether those ‘channels’ or those layers of existence where in harmonious relationship or not mattered deeply for the health and wellness of individuals, the collective, and the wider Seen and Unseen worlds.

“Medicine people,” “wise men and women,” or “shamans” (again, their titles and the exact nature of their roles would’ve been unique to the people, place, and culture) were tasked with tuning into these different layers of Life, offering guidance, and holding rituals and ceremonies, etc. All to help maintain the harmony and balance between the Seen and Unseen realms and on both the personal and collective levels.

 

So what does it look like when they’re out of balance?

There are three main imbalances that can happen. Which one(s) might you be experiencing most right now?

1. All about relationship, duty, care-taking, and the other

 

Many of you are probably here right now -

you care deeply and so you’ve been taking care of others, taking on the pains of the world, working to make things better…

you might have been received some sort of “programming” when you were younger that it was your highest purpose to make sure everyone else felt good, or to make sure everyone else was safe and protected. Or maybe you just started doing that as a way for YOU to feel safe.

either way, now you feel totally empty inside but overly full of everyone and everything else. you don’t know who or where you are in your own life anymore.

you may struggle with a feeling a sense of power - it feels safer to let others take the lead. you’re probably highly sensitive to the moods of others. you may struggle to know yourself: your wants, needs, motivations. you may often feel bitter and resentful. you’re probably staying busy to avoid your inner world which feels overwhelming and chaotic.

 

2. All about the personal inner work

 

If you’ve started doing personal work, you might find you’re here (or toggling back and forth between too much worrying about others and too much focus on yourself) -

you’re diligently taking to heart that you need to take responsibility for yourself and control your actions and mindsets. you want to be a good person, to be “healed”. it’s important to you to end ancestral patterns of wounding.

but now you feel broken all the time. you’re overwhelmed by your own flaws and mistakes. anytime anything happens, you spend hours trying to figure out what went wrong and what your part was in it… and it seems to paralyze you more than offer you insights and healing. you wonder if it’s possible to have such a thing as “too much self-awareness”. plus, your relationships don’t seem to be getting any better.

you may have a diagnosis that felt liberating to hear and now feels like both a comfort and a trap.

you probably feel misunderstood, abandoned, and like there’s a wall between you and the people you’re trying to care about. some days you’re sure that disconnect is your fault (you’re the absolute worst), and some days you’re sure it’s everyone else’s fault (people are the absolute worst). it just feels safer if you’re in control. you can’t seem to stop thinking about yourself and your inner state.

** Quick note: Maybe you’ve noticed that those seem like two sides of the same coin - similar challenges ultimately, even though in the moment we may feel like selflessness and selfishness are so different from each other.

Human supremacy and logic supremacy -  the views we’ve inherited in place of animism, spirituality, and a healthy balance of masculine and feminine energies - would have us believe it’s all Self or Other (human only) and would erase the realms of spirit and the cultural and beyond-human kin parts of the Other. 

 

3. It’s all about spiritual seeking, ceremonies, and “transcendence”

 

But it can also happen that we end up with too much focus on the Otherworld and our spiritual practices, at the expense of our humanity and the beautiful mess of our lives on this Earth -

you’ve had a taste of a peak experience (a retreat, a plant medicine ceremony, an amazing breathwork session, etc) which left you feeling open, joyful, connected… and now you just want to spend all your time there. in fact, you can’t wait to try all the different modalities out there!

you have a suspicion you’ve found ‘The Answer’ to Life and you can’t stop talking about it with everyone you meet (if only they knew about it, too! it would fix them!). maybe you should become a practitioner yourself so you can help others have this same experience… yup. that’s what you’ll do. forget your job, that’s for the unenlightened and that’s not you anymore!

when you’re not in or fresh out of a peak experience, you probably feel more lost than ever before, a little disassociated or like life is passing you by. people in your life may seem frustrated with you or call you flaky. you may stop caring about what you eat or wear or how you look. you can’t seem to stay in one place and feel blown about by the winds of life - and maybe that feels romantic and oh so bohemian to you. your relationships may get very intimate very fast and dissolve into nothingness just as quickly. you may feel so “one with life'“ you’re not sure where you begin and end anymore. and while sometimes it’s fun, sometimes it leaves you feeling a little stretched thin, depressed, and anxious, too.

 

Assessment Exercise:

So let’s pause here a moment and notice - do you resonate with parts of all of these imbalances or are there one or two which feel the most present for you in your life, right now? Have there been other times in your life where you were more imbalanced in a different direction? What helped balance those?

Now look back at any notes you made or insights you had regarding the Approach-Timing-Integration from the Intro. Does any of that reinforce or deepen your sense of your own patterns you’re seeing here? For example: perhaps if you’re more in the navel-gazing world, you need some more community and that informs your sense of what approach you need; perhaps if you’re all about others right now, that informs which approach you seek, too; or, if you’ve been modality hopping and are all about spirit right now, maybe you need some integration… ?

Also look at any notes you took from the Cultural Foundation and Pillars. Does your self-assessment there deepen or reinforce any patterns you’re seeing here? If it’s all about others for you right now, perhaps your Intimacy-Discernment axis needs some re-balancing. Same goes for all about self, though it might also help you bring some more Beauty/ Spirit in there, too. And if you’re feeling most lost and confused right now after a period of being all about the Unseen World, perhaps it’s time to focus in on some tangible, down-and-dirty Aliveness. You might also benefit from exploring the Intimacy-Discernment axis.

Given any insights or perspectives you now have, what’s one small thing you could do to start restoring some balance? Say ‘no’ to some things to have some more time to be with yourself? Reach out to someone you trust and let them know you’re feeling a little disconnected from others and ask for some companionship or mirroring? Spend some more time “chewing” on your last peak experience by journaling, making art, moving your body, etc so you can really take it in before rushing off to the next one? Make a small daily ritual connecting with Spirit or the land a non-negotiable in your daily routine? Something else?

(remember: less is more. if you try to change it all now, it probably won’t stick. so pick one do-able thing and pick an amount of time you want to focus on it - a week, a month, etc. mark it in your calendar or get an accountability buddy. give yourself grace when you forget, drop off, or mess up. come back again as many times as you need to)